CHOOSE YOUR WORDS BEFORE YOU SPEAK

CHOOSE YOUR WORDS BEFORE YOU TALK

It was Robin Sharma that sagely said in his book ‘Who will cry when you die’, that “Hurtful words unleashed in a single minute of anger have led to many a broken friendship. Words are like arrows: once released, they are impossible to retrieve. So chose yours with care.” We are in a world where people do not have regard for one another. We are in a world where words people speak no longer edify.

Our world today is on the fast lane. People always want to have their way not minding whose ox is gored. Ecclesiastics 9:17 says, “Words of the wise, spoken quietly, should be heard Rather than the shout of a ruler of fools.” Such words spoken quietly are rare today. People speak without minding what comes out of their mouth.

In everyday life, we come across many people. Some may be friendly, while some may not. In meetings and other public places, people may oppose our ideas and views. In the process, offend us. Our world is a world of stress and pressures; in the office, on the road, at the supermarket, in the home, etc. All these are bound to make us loose our cool and burst out especially when people seem not to understand us.

As Aristotle noted, “Anyone can become angry – that’s easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not easy.” With the stress and pressures of life on daily basis, we are bound to react when people offend us. For example when driving and the other road user does what you never expected, how do you react? Do you use abusive words or yell at him? But what kind of word comes out of your mouth? Are your words edifying? Are they gracious? Are your words kind? Are they garnished with love?

Matthew 12:37 says, "For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." Majority of us speak words that bring condemnation to us from man and God. When people easily lose their temper, it gradually becomes their habit and it develops to their second nature. Tough time (stress and pressures) calls for people that are cool. Through tough times we know the quality and character of a man. One thing people do not easily understand is that tough times (stress and pressures of life) are meant to shape our character and make us understand, and accept the world we live in.

An excellent way to control your temper and choose your word before you talk is simply count from 1 to 50 before you respond to someone who has irritated you. According to Robin Sharma in his book, ‘Who will Cry when you die’, “Another strategy is what I call the ‘Three Gate Test’. The ancient sages would only speak if the words they were about to utter has passed three gates. At the first gate, they ask themselves, ‘Are these words truthful?’ If so, the word could then pass on to the second gate. At the second gate, the sages asked, ‘Are these words necessary?’ If so, they will then pass on to the third gate, where they would ask, ‘Are these words kind?’ If so, then only would they leave their lips and be sent out into the world”.

The above is an excellent way to help us keep our cool and choose our words before we talk. Many of us do not know that we are accountable to men and to God for every word that comes out of our mouth. The Bible says in Matthew 12:36, "But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the Day of Judgment.” In 2011, Isa Yuguda, Governor of Bauchi State Nigeria made a careless statement that attracted the anger of not only Nigerians but as many as are interested in the affairs of Nigerians  and lovers of human life.

He said, “As far as I am concerned, the Corps members were destined to experience what happened to them in the course of serving their fatherland because every new day is a new experience to each and every one of us as human being; killing of some Corp members in the state in the aftermath of the presidential polls last week; we are not happy, but that is their destiny”. This was a statement from the Chief Security officer of a State who has as his duty to protect lives and properties within his jurisdiction. What a sad story. What will be the lot of the parents and relations of these people killed after hearing the words of this governor? A Viper tongue indeed!

When we learn to choose our words it will save us a lot of litigations, wars and strife that has engulfed our world of today. What will this world be if men, women, youths and children especially people in authority both is government, government agencies, industries, church, mosques, and civil society at large should pause, choose their words before they speak? Think about it and act accordingly. God bless you.